Why our Sunday was anything but relaxing...

Phew. Ok..... well. Huh. This is not me stalling, this is me not knowing how to begin this blog post. I am flooded with emotions, from relief to joy to tamped down terror (well, what's left of it)....

Yesterday was a pretty busy, happy day for me. I went to a nice sale with my mom and got baby Lierre some lovely things for her room and burp cloths, had lunch with her, and got some important cleaning down. However, all day in the back of my mind I noticed how I hadn't felt Lierre moving much. For the past week she has been making herself known, punching and jabbing and waking/keeping me up. Yesterday I only felt a few little flutters in the morning (when she is always the most active), and a few in the evening. I was relieved that I had felt her move, but concerned that it wasn't as much as normal.

This morning I woke up and concentrated all my might on her and told myself I would feel her and then go on about my day. Five minutes past, ten minutes..... I decided to roll over since this normally jolts her a little bit. Another five minutes. Nothing. I got up and went to the bathroom and purposely jumped kinda hard into bed again and lay there, hands on my stomach, breathing slowly, concentrating.... nothing. I drank a half a bottle of water, sat up and moved around. I felt one or two teeny tiny flutters. The flutters were reassuring, but it was definitely not her good morning pokes that I have been feeling. I kept waiting to feel some more. Nothing. Then I decided maybe I needed something cold or with sugar. I filled and drank two glasses of orange juice with ice. Ate breakfast. Not a nudge. Maybe I wasn't being active enough?? I decided to walk my dog and then lay down again. One little flicker of movement and then nothing.

At this point I didn't know what to think. Sure, I had felt her move which was a great sign. But where were her big movements? Where was the pattern that I have grown used to? Where were her morning pokes that wake me up and keep me up every day?

Long story short, after much hemming and hawing Tim convinced me to call the on-call nurse at my office (I hate phone conversations, I hate feeling like I am "overreacting"). After describing the decrease in movement I heard the nurse say "I think it is best if you go ahead and go to Women's Hospital and go to triage and they will check you there." I hung up the call as best as I could and tried to tell Tim as calmly as I could. We kept reassuring each other that we had felt her, so that was good, but let's go ahead and head that way. More than once Tim and I ran into each other getting changed and getting our things together. At one point I watched him and asked "Do you feel like me where you have no idea what you are doing or why you even came in a certain room?" His answer was yes. I got teary eyed but sternly told myself to get it together and to not panic. While brushing my teeth my prayers went something like this "Oh God, oh God..... please God..... ok, ok, your will God..... but please God.... need peace..... be with us.... *insert static sound while I can't think of anything else to say.*" The drive there was fine.... Tim was driving extra carefully (for him) and I was snapping at him to go faster (unusual for me).

We got checked in and almost immediately got taken back into a room. Glad that they were taking us seriously, nervous that everything was going so fast. They used the doppler to listen for a heartbeat. And sweet relief, oh lovely joy there it was.... as strong as can be. But then they wanted me hooked up to a monitor for about a half hour just to be perfectly sure. I had to click a button every time I felt her move. I told my mom (who showed up to support us) that I felt like clicking was like having to take a test I didn't study for. Tim and my mom tried to talk to me and ask questions and keep up a running conversation since we had felt her move (she HATED the monitor and immediately started kicking) and heard her heart. But I was completely zoned out. It was that or break down sobbing in the room for first being so worried to then being so happy. When we got the ok to leave and walked outside it was like I was taking my first breath all day.

I then proceeded to binge eat my feelings the rest of the evening haha.

Long story short--- Tim and I are both so happy and thankful that everything is ok. I am glad that we went for peace of mind. God is good.

My hospital bracelet

To make ourselves feel better, we got my dog a bone that is way too big for him.

He was excited.

This has nothing to do with anything, I just made them earlier in the week and they were awesome.

Happy 23 weeks!

Eeeeekk.... sorry it has been so long since I/we posted anything! The last week has been pretty stinking busy. Where to begin? Hmmm. I guess we will start with Friday night when we picked up Tim's dad from the airport. Every year for the last 3 years Tim has put together a hockey game at the Ice House to raise money for the families of officers in Winston-Salem who have lost loved ones in the line of duty. It is a ridiculous amount of work and Tim diligently and selflessly does it---everything from setting up ice time, to designing and ordering t-shirts, visiting restaurant after restaurant to receive donations for us to raffle off, to organizing the teams and more. It is a pretty big deal. Anyways, we were lucky to have Tim's dad stay with us for a few days to come and see the hockey game. We would have loved for his mom to be here, too, but unfortunately she is battling breast cancer (and winning I think!) and with her doctor's appointments couldn't make it. We will see you there next year!

So, Saturday was the game. It was a great time (What was the score you ask? Ah... uhmm.... well... I think Winston won haha) and a lot of money was raised for scholarships and other things. We were blessed enough that Cafe Pasta rented out the entire place for free for the players and families afterwards and we were treated to some delicious food and a two person band. It was a nice way to relax and unwind after the busy events leading up to the game.

Sunday we took Tim's dad to the Asheboro zoo since he had never been. It was a pretty warm day, but pretty much the perfect day to munch on Dippin Dots while we looked at animals. Lemme tell you.... the zoo is huge. Anyone around here knows that much. But if felt even bigger lugging around a baby in my tummy while walking. Did you know that at the zoo the land is like a triangle?..... no matter which side you come from, you are walking up hill for half of it. Phew. Tim was a sweetheart as always and made sure to give me ample breaks and make sure we were doing well.

Monday we went to Celebration Station after going out to breakfast to play putt-putt against Tim's dad. Also, very hot. My feet officially have flip-flop tan from the morning. Then we visited my mom who had rotator-cuff surgery earlier in the week and rushed home to get his dad's luggage and then take him all the way back to the airport (we live nowhere near the airport).

These were just the big moments from the week. . . not even including all the normal day-to-day stuff like laundry and walking the dog and cleaning and eating..... oh, not to mention we went to the doctor on Wednesday!  What a mess that appointment was. The whole point of us going to the doctor that day was to get another ultrasound since they couldn't see Lierre's (Lee-air.... Lee-air.... keep practicing, it gets easier) heart well and so that we could start rotating doctors and meet everyone. We were all the way through with a rushed visit with my first "new" doctor and he was out the door before Tim called out "Aren't we supposed to get an ultrasound today?" The doctor assured us no, no we were not. I had to explain they couldn't see Lierre's aorta last time and blah blah blah and oh, what do you know, it was written right there on our file and they had just forgotten to schedule us that day. I mean, I understand that everyone makes mistakes. It's just the fact that that was the sole reason for us to go. The only reason we had to go back. And then they didn't even read our file to know anything about us. And then told us we were wrong. All in all it made me much more uneasy about staying at this practice. I really like my own personal doctor, but the though of being shuffled around for the next 4 months meeting people who know nothing about us and may not be as supportive as my own doctor during delivery for my laboring wishes really makes me pause and my skin crawl a little bit. Ehhh.... I was in a bad mood the rest of the afternoon. Not because they made a mistake, but because I felt like nothing more than a chart that day.

Anyways, after waiting another hour there was (thankfully) a cancellation in the ultrasound part of the practice and we got to see our little lady. The ultrasound tech was MUCH nicer this go 'round which made me feel better. Lierre is weighing in at 1 pound 3 ounces and her heart rate fluctuated between 142-149 beats a minute---she is right on track.

Why yes, that is her toe touching her nose.

She is so special to us already. It is amazing how much she is on my mind and I have not even met her yet. I don't think I can go 5 minutes without my mind wandering to her.

My own stats at the doctor: I have gained almost 10 pounds since my first doctor's visit. This is pretty normal I suppose. What my thinking is..... if she only weighs a pound and it has taken 22 weeks (now 23) for her to get there.... and I am so awkward and uncomfortable at times already.... where are her next 5, 6, 7, 8 pounds going to go over the next 18?! It is mind boggling.

Also because I still get so so so dizzy (hence me writing this instead of being in the shower right now) and the heartbeat sound in my ears has gotten so loud I can't hear people talking sometimes.... they checked my iron levels. Mild anemia is from about 11-13 .... my count was at 9.5. So anyways, I'm not having to take extra iron pills every day. I really, really, really hope it helps. It's getting to the point where it is hard for me to do just about anything active sometimes (E.g. yesterday at Edward Mckay's used books, I ended up just sitting in the floor for about 15 minutes).

Also, Lierre is kicking up a storm.... it is getting a little stronger every day. It has mostly felt like pokes and jabs, but this morning Tim and I both got to feel her move across a portion of my stomach. Maybe a foot or an elbow?? It was very exciting and kind of tickled.

Anyways, off to begin the super long process that is showering/drying hair/trying not to pass out.  Enjoy her sweet pictures.... I know we have been!

Eggcelent

Thursday was my last day at my most recent job. Although I have mixed feelings about this, I will not delve any deeper into it at the moment. Instead I will show this picture of some beautiful flowers my husband had waiting for me that afternoon. . .

Isn't he sweet? To top it off, Tim had bought all the "ingredients" necessary to dye Easter eggs!! I love doing them every year and had almost forgotten about them this year in the rush of so many different things going on, so of course I was very excited and eager to make them. Thanks, Tim! 

The beginning

Hard at work

One of our cartons of finished eggs

In other news.... many people have been asking us about what our little one's name is going to be. Well, what better way to tell everyone than to put her name on Easter eggs?!?!

Yes, this is the same picture, I just like how it is brighter.

Our little girl's name is going to be: Lierre (Lee-air) Elizabeth Bloch.  Lierre is/was my middle name before I got married. It means "Ivy" in French which is my mom's name. Elizabeth is Tim's mom's name and has been passed down many generations in their family... it's also nice that it is my grandmother's name as well.  We definitely think we are going to try to go by the full "Lierre," but if we ever do shorten it or people insist on a nickname (which they sometimes do), she will be "Leah" (Lee-uh), not Lee. It's a big name for a little girl, but I think she will handle it well. She's bound to be awesome. 

I am 21 weeks today and she is measuring in at the length of a carrot and her eyelashes/eyelids are almost fully formed. I think some early nesting is kicking in because all I do when I sit around is think about how I want to organize and things I can get rid of and things that I need. This doesn't mean that I actually do anything about it, but at least I'm starting to think and feel the urge to get things ready.

Oh, in other exciting news, I'm pretty sure I have been feeling her move for the last 3-4 days. It's pretty cool. I can't wait until I feel it more consistently and especially until Tim can feel her, too!

In other eggcelent news, the reason for this holy week, the reason for Easter, the whole beautiful redeeming part of being a Christian: 

There's a song that I like that talks about how much God loves us. "I love you more than the sun and the stars that I taught how to shine/ You are mine and you shine for me, too/ I love you/ Yesterday, and today, and tomorrow I'll say it again and again/ I love you more." 

Now.... I know almost each and everyone of you just skimmed over those words (who isn't guilty of doing that, especially for stuff like lyrics?). However, I urge you to read that again. God who spent all of this time creating everything beautiful in this world.... taking time to decide where each star should go, each spring flower and beautiful blooming tree, the warm sunshine..... he did all of that and yet it all pales in comparison with how much He loves us. He loves us more than all of that and to save us from ourselves, our imperfections, our relentless tendency to mess up again and again and again.... to give us hope in times of trial or sickness, to give us redemption plain and simple, He gave us Jesus. Jesus lived a life that was every bit as normal as everyone else's at the time--except he did it all perfectly. This is not to say he was never tempted or that he never felt pain--he felt it all just as sharply as the next person. But he was perfect. And instead of leaving us to fail, to drown in hopelessness, to be alone in the world, he resigned himself to selflessly and lovingly take on our flaws, our sins, our brokeness and leave it all on the cross. Because of this selfless act of Jesus, we all have the chance to claim him and to then claim eternal life. Not just life forever....but life after death, life after death in paradise. He loves us so much. I love the JOY and the fresh start that comes with Easter.

That's it for this week..... I have a special egg saved just for you readers.

Thanks for reading, thanks for your kind supportive words!!!