One Month

Lierre,

My dear, sweet girl... You have wedged yourself so deeply into our hearts in such a short amount of time. Of course I have loved you from the time I had any inkling you were growing inside of me, but it really hit home the other day when I realized I officially have memories with you now and know some of your silly traits and could slightly predict your behaviors.

Cuddling on your One Month

We went to the doctor yesterday for your hepatitis b vaccine and well-baby checkup. It was definitely much harder for me than it was for you! Daddy got to come, too which helped so much. You weigh 9 pounds 4.5 ounces (I was only two ounces off in guessing your weight...the nurse said I must have been cheating) and are 22 inches long.... your weight is in the 50th percentile and your length is in the 75th percentile. You are growing so well and we are so proud of you. It is hard for me already to look back at your pictures from weeks one and two and see how much you have changed and grown.

You have been having some reflux issues that keep you awake and in pain throughout the night and day so the doctor prescribed baby Zantac which we started yesterday. I don't know if it was that or the exhaustion from missing your nap and the shot you had to get, but you slept like a champ all afternoon and probably the best you have slept last night... your mommy thanks you so much for this!

Oh my.... your first vaccine (that I have witnessed--you got the first one at the hospital). You were being perfect at the doctor, so patient and not one bit fussy.... they told me to lean over and talk to you while they gave the shot. It broke my heart to see your bright eyes fill with fear and your lower lip start to quiver as you started to cry when they gave you the shot. You gave your high pitched cry that I always say sounds like a little piglet...the one that lets me know you are afraid or something is wrong. Luckily it was over quick and I got to nurse you before we left. Your daddy and I are such pushovers... whenever you made a peep yesterday, we were there, fawning over you. I have no idea how I am going to handle your two month shots... you have to get so many and we are actually considering delaying some of them.

Your favorite things: still being held and cuddled as much as possible, bath time (you love the warm water being poured over you), and music music music.

Your least favorite things: getting out of the bath (I think it is because you are cold), spitting up (it comes out of your mouth and nose so much and you have had difficulty breathing and we've had to turn you upside down and hit your back and use the bulb to suction you out).

You are curious about: the stroller.... you initially hated it, but we went on a long walk last night and you enjoyed it. I loved talking to you about the sunset, the cooler weather, and everything that we saw. Also, patterns and any toys with fun patterns on them.

Milestones: You are so so close to smiling. You do it in your sleep sometimes, but never awake. You have incredible neck strength already and sometimes you sit up in my lap after I burp you--I think you think you are 7 months old.

Right now I can see you on the monitor and even though I am savoring this moment of still and quiet, there is still another part of me that wants to go pick you up out of your quiet, calm, innocent sleep and hold you close.

We love you, angel. You are worth everything. You are the solid center of our world. <3

love,
Mommy

3 Weeks Old

Lierre, you are three weeks old today. Seriously?? How is that even possible? Everyone said it would go by in a blur and they were not wrong. Not even in the fun, whimsical way older people often mean (although that is happening, too).... I think that it is truly because every day is chopped up into segments of hours instead of night and day.

We went to the doctor today, by ourselves which I view as a huge accomplishment considering a little less than three weeks ago I couldn't even get out of bed by myself. The reason? A suspected case of Thrush. I noticed as you were screaming the other day, in a quest for more food, a few little white spots on the insides of your cheeks. Thanks to some of my hours of reading baby blogs and baby message boards while pregnant, I had stumbled upon a post about Thrush in passing. Thankfully I remembered what I read and packed her up and we headed to the doctor.

The verdict? Yep, you have Thrush. Rats. This would explain your reluctance to latch when we eat the past few days. Your face gets a very determined angry look and then you hesitantly latch on before thrashing your head back and forth with a frustrated grunt or cry and rip yourself away. Eventually you get with the program and get to chowing down, but it is not without effort. Poor baby. We have to put some nasty medicine in your mouth 3-4 times a day for the next 10-14 days. Bahhhhh. To me, with a teeny little baby who eats every 2-3 hours.... 10 days seems like a stinking eternity.

I know its not a big thing.... but it is so relieving to me to have noticed something wrong with you before it got "bad," made a decision, and got you to a doctor. It's just one of those things that I worried about before you came, and since you have been here....that maybe something would happen health wise and I wouldn't notice, or wouldn't know what to do. It is nice to know that you are ok. And partially because of something that I did. Phewwww. Maybe I can do this mommy thing after all?

However, the doctor was thrilled with your weight gain. You are a whopping 8 pounds 15.5 ounces. The doctor said that they like to see about a pound of weight gain by one month appointments and you are just shy of that with 10 days to spare. This is even after your weight dropped down to 7 pounds 10 ounces at the hospital. Way to go little piglet! The doctor actually said "Whatever you all are doing to feed her, keep it up because it is working." Let me pat myself on the back for a minute.

Your favorite things at the moment: 
-Being held, tucked tight to my chest, or daddy's. Seriously, you freak out if you are put down while you are awake. You cannot handle even five two minutes by yourself. We have tried some tough love, but you scream and scream until you are holding your breath, your face turns purple, and the little red mark on your forehead is fire engine red. Tough things for mommy to watch.
-Music. When you are crying, if anyone starts to hum or sing to you, you almost immediately stop and get very still. The same is true in the car... if you start to cry in your carseat while we are on an adventure, if I turn the music up a little louder, you typically stop crying (at least as loud) and sometimes fall asleep.
-Baby K'tan Wrap time.... this ensures that you stay close to mommy.
-Staying awake. All of the bragging I did in weeks 1-2 about how you sleep all day in 3 hour chunks at a time is out the window. You just love to stay awake.... you just don't know what to do with yourself when you are awake. Cry? Stretch? Doze for 30 seconds to 10 minutes before jerking yourself awake? Fuss? It's during these long stretches that I am thankful for your grandma who comes over so that I can grab a shower, or eat, or just breath. Tim does this, too when he is home (He went back yesterday and we have been lonesome for him).

Your least favorite things at the moment:
-As mentioned, being put down.
-Whenever we take off your clothes for a bath or an outfit change. Your startled face turns into a mildly annoyed expression before you get royally ticked off and you start to cry. Thankfully this only lasts until you are dressed...it's like you can tell we are almost done and with each inch that I zip or button you up, your cries get quieter and your wiggles start to slow down.
-Hiccups. Poor thing.... you are still dealing with horrible cases of hiccups almost every time you are laid down. Sometimes they wake you up. Most of the time you handle it better than I do.
-Spicy chicken wings. I ate these with Tim one night and your stomach did not thank me the next day. Woops. Sometimes I forget that what I eat, you will eat, too.

Waiting at the doctor. You are daddy's clone.

You found your thumb for a minute. You can't seem to keep it in, though.

You asleep in the wrap as we speak.

If I knew then what I know now....

So.... I told myself that when I had a baby I would keep this blog up and running. I would always get so mad (read: frustrated that my bored self had nothing to do) when baby blogs I looked at stopped posting after the baby came. Didn't they know that their readers were still checking? Didn't they care? (Shouldn't I get a life?)

So I apologize for being absent the past week or two (I can't even remember when I posted last).

I still want to include Lierre's birth story on here one day, but that day is not today. It will be long and I will really have to think about what I want to include and what I don't want to include--there were some things that really upset me during my stay at the hospital....and there were some successes (e.g. My sweet little girl being born healthy!).

Anyways. I just wanted to give an update on how things are going here on the home front. As we speak, Lierre is taking a nap. Thank the Lord! She has been doing remarkably well on the eat/sleep front and has mostly been on a routine (that she pretty much set herself) of eating about every 3 hours and then sleeping for 3 hours, on and off all day long (a "day" is no longer when the sun is up. A day consists of a 24 hour period of time, chopped up into little 3 hour segments). That is.... until the last 2 days. Yesterday she decided against sleeping altogether. I mean it. She slept maybe 2-3 hours for the entire day and that was only because we were holding her and doing every trick in the book. Thank goodness Tim was home to help me because whenever I hold her, she thinks she should be eating and gets very worked up when this does not happen in .0002 seconds. However, this resulted in her sleeping like a champion last night, for which I was very, very, very thankful.

(If you are not a lady, skip over this next part)
Hey momma's to be: I'm sure you have heard that breastfeeding can be a little tricky in the beginning... maybe a little painful, but "as long as you have the correct latch it shouldn't hurt." Do. Not. Believe. This. Blasphemous. Lie. In the beginning it just flat out suckssss. I mean, yes a good latch is important and will go a long way to helping baby to eat well and to alleviate some pain. But. It will still hurt in the beginning. In fact, the first 2-3 days I was home, I just sat there on the couch and cried almost every time I had to feed Lierre. I would squeeze Tim's hand, or my mom's, grit my teeth waiting for the pain that was about to come, and let the tears roll. If I had to describe how it felt...hmm.... like someone jabbed pins into my nipples and the poured salt into the wound. For about 45 minutes. Every three hours. Just let that sink in a minute.

My advice? 1.) Invest in nipple shields... I think that's what they are called. They are like this half circle thing made of plastic that you put on in between feedings so that your shirt/bra/whatever will not rub against you. 2.) Buy some Lanolin nipple cream. Put it on after every feeding. Some people say that breast milk does the same thing, but it this was not the case for me. Apply liberally and thank your lucky stars that such a thing exists. It helps with the horribly raw feeling you will get and (in my case) made it not so unbearable when baby latches on. 3.) Make sure your partner & family are incredibly supportive because otherwise you may not make it to the other side. 4.) [this should have been number one because it should happen first, but oh well] Even if baby is hungry, ease into breast feeding. No, I am not saying don't feed your baby. I'm just saying that the person who told me at the hospital that letting Lierre try to nurse with an improper latch for two whole hours to the point I was bleeding should be shot in the head. Twice. One for every hour she steered me wrong. Start out with 10-15 minutes at most. Give them a 5 minute break and then try again.

Another thing I have learned.... (Thanks, Becky Muller for talking me down late one night and giving this advice).... A sane mommy is more important than an exclusively breast fed/back sleeping/perfect anything. Example: We finally gave in and started giving Lierre 1 bottle of formula at night. Why? Because she would NOT stop eating one day, I had nothing left, and was completely exhausted. I cried over this decision feeling like a big fat breastfeeding failure. What really happened? Lierre ate, went to sleep, I slept, and life kept going.

So since then we have continued with Tim giving her this one bottle every night, somewhere between 10:30 and 3:00 a.m. (depending on how the "schedule" went for the day). This ensures that I get some sleep at some point and Lierre is always full after.

Oh, there is so much to more to say and to catch everyone up on, but Lierre is waking up as we speak. Before we go I just want to say that Tim is doing an incredible job with Lierre. He never gets impatient with her, is willing to give up his sleep, talks me down every time I get worked up, and is just generally an awesome dad. I knew he would be, but it is so much cooler to experience it. I will try to include more as the days go by. Here are some pictures for ya to enjoy.

One of Lierre's 10 minute naps yesterday.

Asleep after Aunt Lindsey & Uncle Clayton visited

Lierre's "I refuse to sleep" face yesterday

I just think baby feet are cute.

Tim getting Lierre inside for her first outing at The Candle Factory

At the Candle Factory. It was too hot so we had to leave.