Hard Times

So many people I know are struggling with things in their life lately.... some small things, some huge, life-changing things. For some reason this song just seems to fit all the mess lately. We all need some help. . . .  luckily we have a God who loves us and is there in the midst of it all, even when we can't see His plan.

Not enough pictures

This post is about to cover a wide gamut of things so hang on tight and let's roll....

Momma Love
My dear, sweet, wonderful mom is in the process of retiring right now. A process you say? How can it be  a process? Well, my mom has been the director of a really great preschool (after teaching there as well) for many years.... Tomorrow is the last day of "school" for the kids, but she is staying until mid-June to help with some transitional things.

Today the school had a picnic where they honored my mom---giving her a scrapbook filled with artwork and who knows what else from the kids and teachers. On top of that, they dedicated a new art display cabinet to her and it will have a plaque with her name and everything.

I know that there have been a mixture of good times, bad times, hard times, funny times, thankful times at this job and I know that leaving it will be tough for her.....but I am so glad that they thought to honor her. Mom, if I could get you a plaque the size of the wall to leave there I would. And then I would take you on vacation and maybe write your name in the sky because that's how great you are and that's how good of a job you have done. We are all so proud of you and love you so much.

Third 3rd Third 3rd Third Trimester (& a "shameful" secret)


Saturday (tomorrow is Friday) will be 28 weeks..... this is officially, my friends, THE FREAKING THIRD TRIMESTER. What?!?!!!!!!?! Where has the time gone? Some days it feels like time is c..r...a...w..l...i...n...g by and other times it feels like I can't even catch my breath because it is going by so quickly and there is so much left to be done. So. Much.

Everyone tells me that I need to "enjoy this time" and that I will "really miss it" when I am not pregnant anymore. Let me just tell you (cringing slightly with shame on my face, with one eye kind of squinted as I wait for a barrage of comments that I will probably get for this one), I have not really loved being pregnant. Don't get me wrong---I am thrilled that I have a little life inside of me. I am joyful that Tim and I are going to have the extreme honor and responsibility of raising a little girl. I absolutely cannot wait to be a mom. I cannot wait to parent with Tim and watch us grow as a family. But.............. being pregnant? Not so much. I see pictures of other friends who are pregnant now and they have almost all had that famous *glow* and have gained an appropriate amount of weight and you can just feel the cloud-nine-ness oozing out of them at every turn.

Me? Of course I have had moments where I am just blown away by the whole thing (in a good way) and feeling Lierre move is pretty cool. But. But I really hated being nauseous in the beginning. I don't cover all the food groups every day. I've had issues with my iron that still causes me to feel dizzy throughout the day, ranging from a teeny bit of vertigo type feeling to a full fledged lay in the floor while everything gets dark kind of experience. This issue has ranged from having a completely normal day, to days where I can't even finish my shower because if I don't sit down RIGHT NOW then I will pass out. In the past week or two my lower back pain has really increased. Little lady seems to be sitting right on a nerve that shoots down into my butt and into my legs, causing my legs/hip/butt to hurt or to feel tingly. This has really made sleeping difficult. Last night I woke up every thirty minutes to about every two hours.

Have I loved looking at baby stuff? Absolutely.... it has been fun to daydream about her room and plan things I want to do with Lierre when she is born/as she grows. I can't wait to hold and cuddle the mess out of this little girl! Have I been thrilled and excited about looking for and buying maternity clothes? Nuh uh. In fact (I have issues with shopping already), it makes me pretty tense to go and spend money on clothes that I will only be able to wear for a few months (yeah, yeah maybe a second child one day, but you never know).  Other people seem to thrive on the attention they receive for being pregnant. I think it is so thoughtful when people ask me how I am doing and things, especially when I can tell that they really care what my answer is. But. Standing up in front of groups of people to "show them my stomach??" It's kind of humorous to me, yes, but I don't revel in feeling like an interesting side show.

It is also interesting for me to be one of the first of my group of friends to have a baby. In Tim's circle, most/many of his friends already have a baby/child or are at least married. In my group, I'm one of the first to get married. I am one of the first to have a baby. It makes for an interesting dynamic when at get togethers with Tim's friends, we fit right on in..... in my group of friends? Most are very supportive and excited, but there is definitely a little gap there. Especially with this time of year (cook outs, holidays, summer, etc) where everyone is slapping on their slinky bathing suits, grabbing a drink after work, tanning like its their job, running every day to keep "their figure".... it has made me feel left out at times. Oh boo hoo, Anna, poor you right? I'm not complaining, REALLY.... most of the time these are just passing thoughts or every day things that I handle. And not for one second would I trade any of the time that I have had with Lierre for any of that. But I always said if I had a blog I would do my best to be as honest as possible on it. There are times where my friends decided on a whim to go on vacation or to go to the beach for the day or weekend. While Tim never would have stopped me, my time these days are spent with him on his days off. We are being careful with money so that we can pay all the bills and have enough for Lierre's things. There are many nights when my friends will go out and I'm putting on my pajamas at 9:00 (let's be honest... 8:30....). There are times I get together with friends and hear about the new person in their lives, a recent date they have been on, or a recent trip they went on with their hubby/wife----and I am so happy for them all. But then when they ask me what I have been doing, I find myself scrambling at times to come up with an answer other than what really pops in my head (which is: compulsively reading/daydreaming/talking about our baby!!).

Annnnnnyways, this sounds like I'm a negative Nancy, but I just thought I'd throw out a few other things. It's therapeutic for me and maybe mildly interesting for you? No? Cool, let's just keep going.

28 WEEKS
This Saturday/28 weeks, Lierre will weigh about 2 and a quarter pounds and is about 14.8 inches from head to heel. She can blink her eyes and may be able to see bright light coming through to her. She is also adding on a little bit of baby fat and the neurons in her brain are going crazy. Keep growing, sweet one.

If you want a laugh for what I have to look forward to after little lady is born, check out this website:
Ten Things They Don't Tell You....

*On a more serious note...*
A couple who is friends of my family just recently gave birth to a little boy.... at 23 weeks. His name is Mason and he needs as many prayers as he can get. He weighed 1 lb and 5 oz when he was born 2 days ago. He has held on strong, but currently has some bleeding in his brain. To stay updated, you can look at their blog: www.ljmatthews.blogspot.com. Your thoughts and prayers are greatly, greatly appreciated. 

Mother's Glucose Carnival Baby Sweets

26 weeks 3 days

Ok, so this picture isn't good at all and kind of far away, but I figured if I kept waiting for a time where Tim and I were both together, not dressed in pajamas, and not rushing somewhere, we would never get a picture. My hair is wet because I'd just showered, so ignore that part. That's me and Lierre at 26 weeks and 3 days. Little bump is just growing right along and I am getting more excited to meet her every day. 

Tomorrow morning I am going to take my 1 hour glucose test. Pleaaaase pray and cross your fingers that I pass the one hour and don't have to do the stinking 3 hour test. That just sounds awful to me. 

This week Lierre's ears are more sensitive than ever.  The websites say that she can probably even hear Tim's voice when we are chatting---when I told Tim this he thought about it throughout the day and then later that night said the sweetest "good night" to Lierre, so much so that I got a little teary eyed. However, my emotions have been a pogo stick this week, so it could just be that (but I don't think so). Also she is practicing breathing--keep it up little lady, get as strong as you can! 

My lower back and hips have been killing me this week. I mean the worst ever. One night it was so bad that I kept both Tim and myself up by tossing, turning, getting up, rearranging, moaning, etc all night long. Since then it hasn't been quite as bad, but still pretty bad. I need some prenatal yoga or something to help stretch it out. Other things I have been thinking about this week---reading up on/deciding on some big "items" for baby like car seats, carriers, strollers and the like. Also I have been trying to read up on making a birth plan.... While I know birthing tends to be full of surprises sometimes and I need to be flexible, I also want to be informed on just about everything so that if x, y, z happens I will know what is going on and can keep it together a little better (so I like a little control, so sue me....). 

I didn't feel very good yesterday. Thankfully with the cuddles of this sweet pup and some home cooked food from mom, I am feeling much better today!

MY FIRST MOTHER'S DAY CARD EVER

Mother's Day was this past Sunday. We spent some nice time with my mom and my family. I got a few cards which made me feel very special.  Throughout the day (Debbie Downer alert), however, I had many different kinds of mothers on my heart. I couldn't help but think of certain people I know (including family members) who have lost their little ones in the past year or two and how they must be feeling--I can't even fathom it. The emptiness they must feel in their arms and in their hearts must be so overwhelming.  I thought about women who have issues with infertility and my heart broke for them, too. Once again I can't imagine what it must feel like to try so hard and want and wait and pray for a child and not be able to conceive. Here's to hoping for miracles for all of you. And lastly I thought about birth mothers who have had to give up their little ones for whatever the reason. No matter what their situations, I am sure there was at least a moment, if not many moments, where they missed the little ones that they gave up, where they imagined the "what ifs" and felt such a longing for their little ones...... If you fall into any of these categories, you were on my heart on Sunday and I said many prayers for you all. 

Serious Timmy at the carnival

Carnival fun

Yummy chicken recipe that is the easiest thing ever that I tried this week

I made these. JUST kidding, we got them in NY and I've been missing them ever since.

That's all for now---I will let everybody know the results of the glucose test later. As always, thanks for your support, your kind words, reading these silly posts of mine, and just generally being awesome.

25 weeks!

Tim and I spent a few lovely days in NY/CT..... but there will be more info and a few pics on that later!

We are at 25 weeks as of this past Saturday!! Not anything too thrilling except that there is about a 50% chance that if I gave birth today, my baby would survive (given, with serious medical intervention and probably long-term effects). That's pretty exciting news..... but I would prefer if Lierre kept baking away for about oh, 15 weeks or so.

Baby's size: about 13 and a half inches and about a pound and a half. If you want the veggie comparison, she's about the size of a Rutabaga. She's starting to get a little fat on her and if I could see her hair right now (if she has any), I would be able to tell what color it is.

Sleep: It is silly how hard it is for me to roll over at night. I have always been a side sleeper, and a left side sleeper at that, but for some reason I keep waking up on my back (which is what I'm supposed to be avoiding!). Go figure. Tim and I stayed at a hotel for 2 nights of our trip and it had the most glorious, squishy, perfect King sized bed. Such great sleep. But here back at home, it is a little more difficult.

Food cravings: Unfortunately many, many sweet things. And still turkey sandwiches. And at this exact moment, a Green Peace Roll from Imperial Koi (check it out next time you are there).

Symptoms I have: Nothing too crazy. Just the normal going to the bathroom every five minutes. My hips have been hurting off and on again, but I've got it under control. =]

Next Doctor's Appointment: May 16th for my Glucose test. I hear horrible things about it.... what was your experience like if you have had it? After that I will go back in about two weeks to get my Rhogam shot since my blood type and Tim's are opposites.... A negative and A positive. I think after that I will begin going every two weeks.

Movement: Pretty stinking big movements. Tim got to feel her a few times over the past few days. I think for him it is a mixture of shock, excitement, and ewww weird.

Belly Button: Still an innie, but almost a nothing it is so shallow. I don't want an outtie. :-(

What I'm looking forward to: registering for baby girl's things on Tim's next days off and getting her nursery room cleared out and cleaned up.

What I miss: I don't even like drinking really, but there have been a few times lately where it would have been so nice to have a fruity alcoholic drink or some wine with friends. Oh, and feeling decent in a bathing suit!

As soon as Tim and I ever have a second together and think about taking a picture instead of just hanging out, I will post a belly picture.... it's huge.... so just hold your horses!